Men mostly feel that they are doing their best at showing up for their family, and still, they are coming home to an unhappy partner, feeling unappreciated and criticized. Sometimes there seems to be no end in sight, and you think there is nothing you can do to fix it. These things make the situation even worse. The bar keeps getting raised when the target keeps being moved, from disagreement to conflicts. Eventually, things become out of control and your partner becomes increasingly impossible to please.
In modern heterosexual marriages, many men tend to become quite during the conflict, as they don’t want to escalate things further or increase discord with their partner. For others, it is a normal reaction to stress which works as damage control. Many men in heterosexual marriages are more likely to stonewall than their spouses. When you both become silent while disagreeing is where the tension rises, which leads to a lack of communication, and eventually, in no time, you will feel both are falling apart from each other. You can save yourself and your partner and enroll in Gottman Professional Training. Here are 5 things you can do as a husband to strengthen your relationship:
One thing that every man lacks is taking responsibility for their actions. Try to avoid things that you know are wrong and then blame others. Take full responsibility for your actions if you make a mistake and try to fix things. A man must look at himself and see how he can solve the problems. He should know how he can change his own actions properly and handle the situation.
Give yourself and your partner space from each other
Taking some time-out can be beneficial if you are fighting. The time taken can clear up your mind and help you avoid the things that you might have said because of your anger. Sometimes, during a fight, we say things that we don’t mean and they are totally out of frustration. These things can hurt our partner in a certain way we cannot imagine. You avoid these conflicts by giving yourself and your spouse a little space to calm down the anger and frustration.
Appreciate your partner
Identifying the tasks that your partner does on your behalf and appreciating them for the same takes nothing. Saying Thank you with gratitude and sincerity you can muster. You can show appreciation by treating your partner with one or two of their favorite things. Say it out loud to them how you appreciate the little things they do and how much you enjoy them. Tell them how grateful you are to have them as a life partner and see how things will get better in no time.
Accept you are not the fixer of relationship
When hitting your partner with disappointments, it is not uncommon to fluctuate between deep shame. Often, it is seen that men have self-righteous indignation that comes from a desire to want to fix things, and when they fail to do that, frustration and anger begin. The men must learn that it’s okay not to know what to do and how to fix things. It is their responsibility, however, they are not the only savior of the relationship. They can try to fix things and if they fail, they can always communicate with their partner. Thereafter, if they both fail to solve the problems, they can take Gottman professional training to strengthen their relationship.
Seek help early
Seeking help from a professional and getting couples therapy is a sign of health. Many people feel it is a dysfunction. Unfortunately, only about 19% of people who experience conflicts in their relationship seek professional help, the rest of them either get separated or stay in a lovelorn relationship. Many of you might be unaware that Gottman professional training has an 85% success rate.
In Final Words
Despite dealing with conflicts, there is still potential for a deeper connection between the partners than before. If you want to build a deep and meaningful relationship that is full of trust and closeness, you can always try these tips.